In this day and age where most of us begin having sex at the ripe old age of 16, we have to do a lot to keep sex interesting well into our 40’s and 50’s. But seriously now that I’m far removed from my teens 16 seems so damned young to think you know anything about sex. And really, I mean it wasn’t good sex and not even a learning experience.
Maybe my 16 year old self wasn’t that hot or sexually appealing but teenage dudes don’t go down, they don’t talk dirty and yet we happily give them our lady goods, and for what? Well I mean my “first” was well hung but he didn’t know what to do with it and I was sore and walking funny for a week and I didn’t even get off.
Anyway. Back to the topic.
Role playing. I’ve done it and enjoyed it…immensely. I have also been awfully, horribly terrified by some of the “roles” I’ve been asked to play.
Don’t get me wrong I love the basics: naughty French maid, Bill & Monica, Jefferson & Hemings, kinky cheerleader, dominatrix and cop and interrogator. But I have also been known to enjoy a few roles off the beaten path like Eric & Sookie (isn’t True Blood just one big turn on, anyway?), burglar and housewife, strangers in a bar, producer and actress and even a few superheroes.
But there have been a few encounters that I just couldn’t seem to get into. I like a little bit of kink as much as the next girl, but I’m not down with playing the captured American soldier to some guy’s evil rapi—, I mean terrorist. Sorry it just ain’t gonna happen. No way. No how.
I also am NOT going to dress up like a big ol’ human-sized stuffed animal. Again. Those things are hot and sweaty and funky and unless your partner is REALLY into furries and his or her own suit, the origins of those suits are highly suspect. And honestly dressing up like my college mascot is SO not a turn on. Anymore.
I am not a judgmental person, not by a long shot. But when it comes to bedroom activities I prefer to do things that get me all hot and wet and panting like a morbidly obese St. Bernard. And when I’m sweaty in the bedroom it should be from pumping and thrusting and grinding, not because I’m encased in some polyester version of hell.
If you like something kinky that’s totally fine—embrace it—but don’t get your panties in a bunch if your partner isn’t up for your kinky reindeer games. This is where it’s helpful to talk about things like limits.
For example I don’t mind a little bit of rough sex now and again, you know pull my hair, spank me, gag me, choke me a little and thrust good and HARD. But I draw the line at getting bitch slapped in my face while I’m moments away from gettin’ my twitch & quiver on.
I guess what I’m saying is that we all have our fetishes and desires, and that’s awesome. I think we all need to embrace all sides of our sexuality and respect our partner’s sexuality. But when a fantasy doesn’t get your kinky motor running; don’t do it.
Okay well do it once just to be sure you don’t like it and if you don’t then don’t do it again.
But please, oh please, feel free to share your kinkiest encounter with us!