Let me be clear about one thing; I haven’t believed in ‘waiting for sex’ since the early days of my sexual history. I mean sure if you’re one of those guys or girls who thinks that waiting to have sex with the person you really like is something you need to do, more power to you.
I’m just not one of those people. Never have been and never will be. If I like you, I’m going to fuck you. If I sort of like you, I’ll fuck you. And even if I hate you but you make my lady parts go all tingly, I’m still gonna do you. And I’m going to enjoy it. BIG TIME.
Now that we’re done talking about my sexual simplicity, let’s talk about what really matters. Sex etiquette.
You’ve been dating a guy or girl for a few weeks or months and you think it could be that elusive something special, so you want to abstain sexually. That’s fine but you’re not a virgin which means you will eventually get the urge to orgasm on occasion. What do you do?
Is it okay to have a fuck buddy stashed away somewhere to get your needs met while you explore what could be with this person? And if you do have said fuck buddy, are you required to tell ‘The One’ that you have this sexual healer on the side or can you keep quiet with free conscience? What does dating, or for that matter sexual etiquette dictate?
I mean technically you and this person are dating so that would technically mean you are a big fat cheater, right? But if you subscribe to the school of thought that says we aren’t together until the fat lady screams out her orgasm, then it’s not cheating. But is your conscience clear?
This is what we call a sexual grey area. If you haven’t yet had ‘The Talk’ then you are free and clear to do what you want. Just keep in mind that this “might be the one” person may not take too kindly to finding out you’ve been keeping your goodies away from him while giving away to someone else like candy on Halloween.
Personally I’m never one to pass up an orgasm, but I do have several sets of rechargeable batteries and quite a few vibrators, bullets and dildos that can just as easily—and quickly—get the job done. If you truly think this person could be someone special to you, then you should just be happy with jackin’ off until you’re ready to spread’em wide for your special person.
Or consider the popular amongst teenagers method of non-sex sex. You know, a little bit of kissing and feeling up mixed in with some mouth play and maybe even full on oral or digital stimulation?? It’s a way to connect physically instead of starting your relationship as a cheater, which let’s be honest, doesn’t exactly present you as the beacon of fidelity does it?
Plus, WHY ARE YOU WAITING? What if you fall in love with this person and find out you are totally incompatible in bed? Yeah I know, love conquers all (said in mocking voice) but it doesn’t over-correct for a lack of chemistry. If you want to make it work for real, then it has to work everywhere, not just at dinner and Game Night.
After all, masturbation is efficient and fun and it gets the job done so why wouldn’t you want to do it? Besides it teaches you a lot about your likes and dislikes, which will be a helpful trick to learn when you want to suck the skin off a fine piece of man meat and wow your special person between the sheets.
If they really are that special don’t you want your first time with them to be special?