Where Tongues Fear To Tread

Back in my college and if I’m honest my high school days there was always this silly assumption that girls (young women I preferred back when I was just a girl) who smoked or had tongue piercings—I had both—were more orally inclined. Back then I thought it a load of rubbish but looking back I think the idea might have some merit. I no longer smoke cigarettes (yay ME!) and I got rid of my tongue piercing as I sought out a post-graduation career. And in the subsequent years my tongue has been in far more interesting places than on a cigarette or in the latex covered hand of a random tattoo artist.

When it comes to doing dirty things with my mouth these days, I’m pretty…open (no pun intended). I mean, I guess depending on your perspective I could be construed as having a vanilla mouth but dammit I’m willing to try almost anything twice. Maybe three times if I’m not entirely sure how I feel about it.

Things I definitely don’t mind in my mouth include cocks, balls, pussy, nipples and even a little taint. I do have my limits and the biggest one is feet. I know, I know there are plenty of foot lovers and fetishists all over the world who’ll balk at this but, in the words of Popeye I am what I am! Feet gross me out. If anyone asks me—who did, I know—there is no such thing as pretty feet. As such there is no such thing as ‘delicious’ feet either. I just won’t do it so don’t even ask. You’ll be lucky to get a foot massage out of me, buster!

oral sex

Cum is another thing but I’ll hold in my mouth I just can’t swallow it. And now that I think about it’s strange b/c my gag reflex is basically non-existent (yeah I’m that good) but if even a drop of cum gets too far in the back of my throat the sensation to yak is just overwhelming. Anyway I guess cum doesn’t count because I’ll put it in my mouth just not down my throat. What in the hell does he care what happens to it after the deposit, really?

Then there comes the more…taboo body parts. Specifically the arsehole. As Chris Rock would call it, “tossin’ salad”. I’ve done it. I’ve enjoyed it. I’ve even loathed it on occasion but in general it is something that I can really sink my tongue into (pun intended).

While I don’t mind sex after a long day at the office—in my case at home in front of the laptop in my comfy house clothes—I do mind lickin’ on naughty bits after a long day without a shower. Don’t get me wrong I love the inherent muskiness of unwashed man. Not a construction worker or personal trainer mind you, but your average non-manual laborer works for me sans shower.

The thing is though, the butthole can get a little more than musky. It’s closed up, it’s often hairy and it may have certain…leftovers that don’t quite please my palate. Trust me I’ve had a few occasions of leftovers or residue and it’s enough to make me go back to cigarettes. Before you go rolling your eyes and calling me immature, think about it; you can only be so thorough in a public bathroom.

Nevertheless, I have had quite some enjoyable times going down, down under. He likes it, I likes it…we all likes it. And just like any good oral sex, it’s so much better after a nice thorough shower.

There are places my tongue fears treading but the puckered ring is not one of them. 

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