Being out of sync—in or out of the bedroom—can spell doom for any couple. Whether you’re married, just fucking, gay, straight or bi you have to be in tune to each other sexually for a satisfying experience. So what do you do when you don’t share the same kinks and fetishes?
If he loves wearing silk stockings and you hate looking at him in silk stockings, what hope do you have to keep stroking each other’s naughty bits? Must you indulge in each other’s fetishes to keep your sex life going strong or can you force your partner to quash them forever?
Most women think they can just shame or nag away a fetish. Sorry to tell you gals, you can’t.
If the fetish really is too freaky for you, why didn’t you know about it sooner? And if you are certain you can’t handle this fetish…are you willing to allow him to seek his fetish fulfillment elsewhere? Because that is your option; indulge or allow.
If he likes, no loves feet what’s so wrong with indulging him a little? Don’t get me wrong I hate feet. I loathe them and I think all feet—even blemish and scent free feet—are fucking disgusting. I freak out when a foot gets within inches of me. But I have begrudgingly indulged a man (or two) in his foot fetish. Of course I roll my eyes, cringe and choke back vomit but it makes him happy and a happy man is very eager to please!
I admit I don’t get the thrill about feet but who am I to judge when I get all worked out when someone else gets head?
Now, if your dude likes to hang by his back skin from hooks and that’s not what you’re in to, allow him to go elsewhere and seek that pleasure. It’s not cheating if you allow it, especially if he loves it. Only you can decide what fetishes to indulge and which to allow him to explore without you. Just know that these are sexual fetishes and you can’t get all pissed off if he busts a nut or two or ten with someone who doesn’t mind hanging from hooks or shoving a dildo up his arse.
So how do you know if your partner has a sex fetish you’re not down with? Well the simple answer is that he or she is sexually aroused by a specific situation or object. So if you’ve read this blog before you know I have an oral sex fetish. If your guy wants you to jack him off with your feet…he has a foot fetish.
These are pretty mild fetishes and I’ve come across some that are quite extraordinary. While I didn’t enjoy the ones I did participate in, I always enjoy watching which I guess is a sort of fetish of its own.
Whether your sexual partner is into fetishes or you’re looking to explore your fetishistic side, below are a few fetishes you can try without being (totally) wigged out:
- Rubber, latex, vinyl or leather: wear it, dance in it or make it your bed!
- Submission & domination
- Hair pulling, especially pig tails or braids
- Exhibitionism or Voyeurism (watch or be watched…delightful!)
- Golden Showers (I know, but some dudes enjoy it)
- Asphyxiation or strangulation; must be with a trustworthy partner and SAFE WORD
- Dressing up like: plush toys, celebrities, historical figures or inanimate objects
These are just a few, if you think of any I’ve left out…feel free to contribute. I’m always up for a new fetish now and again.