A Number Is Just A Number

When it comes to numbers we all have different reactions. When I think of numbers I think of the magic combo that will make me a lottery winner. I think of the numbers on the scale—going down every week, thank you very much. I even think of the number of stairs I have to climb to get to my apartment here in Stuttgart (56, ugh). One number I never think of, nor did I as a singleton, was the number of sex partners I’ve had.

Men and women both lie about the number of sexual partners they’ve had. Women decrease their number by as much as 60% (ok I made that figure up) and men at least double their numbers (100% true). Why?

how many sex partners is too many

Is there something so inherently important by the exact number of vaginas he’s plunged into or how many dicks have been inside her that once that predetermined threshold is met, makes them unsuitable for sex or love? Why do we place so much stock into this basic number that means so little, if one were to actually sit down and think about it for more than 10 seconds.

One word: ego.

Men, who love to have sex with anyone who will allow them entry, oddly enough find that too many sexual partners for a woman distasteful. But my question is, who are they having all this casual sex with if not other women? When it comes to “the number” men take a very antiquated approach to this topic. They want desperately to get into your pants but expect that you also have your maidenhead fully intact.

It’s some nonsense about unchartered territory and feeling as though this one pussy belongs to him.

Because of that, women feel the need to be coy, to lie and in general to skirt the issue of their number. I say to hell with that!

Contrary to what one of my dear friends think, women actually love sex. When you do it right, we crave it. Constantly. Some women, much like me as a young lass, never let trivialities such as relationships stand in the way of a good shag. There’s no rule that says you have to be in a relationship or in love to get off, so what is the big deal, then?

Society tells women that we must be pure and demure and sexually inexperienced and if we can’t be those things then we must at least be perceived as being those things. Well this isn’t Victorian England and a girl can’t be ‘ruined’ by simply having a little sex before she decides if and when she settles down.

Let’s be honest, between the poor economy and the way most men are scrambling to remain the dominant sex in society, settling down isn’t always ideal for a girl. Does that mean we have to live a life of pseudo-celibacy only to seek orgasms through battery powered devices?

Hell no! It means, ladies, we simply need to be proud of our number—however large or small it is—and say to hell with any man who has a problem with it.

So then is there such a thing as too many sex partners? I say if you’re both protecting yourself from STDs and unwanted pregnancy then NO; do your thing. A few friends of mine refuse to allow their number to go above 20 partners. It’s an arbitrary number with no real rationale but having 20 or less partners before they get married makes them feel…less slutty. My only question is; what if your future husband to be finds 15 partners too many?

My friend Kevin—not to be confused with my ex-sex buddy Kevin—slept with more than 120 women. He proudly owned up to it and conceded that there were probably more but some he’d simply forgotten. However Kevin told me, without a hint of irony, that he would prefer if his wife had no more than 5 partners!

After my shock and incredulous “What?!” he told me five was being generous. As though he were the very picture of a man deserving of a fresh hymen to break!

Fast forward 6 years and Kevin’s wife had “about 30” partners. Using my sex arithmetic I’d say that means her number is somewhere between 40 and 55 partners. More power to her!

Guys, don’t ask the numbers question if you don’t really want to know the answer and will respond to it like a jackass. Girls, be honest about your number. If you don’t have a problem with your sexual history…why should he?

If he does…remind him that he’s the one benefitting from all those years of practice. Does he think a girl can give a blow job that good after trying it just once?

P.S. if you’re curious about my number, let’s just say its higher than the stairs in my apartment building! 

Posted in Sex

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