Ten Things

Recently, after a night of delicious and exotic food and more German wine (Schwarzriesling or in English; pinot meunier for those of you interested) than any one person needs, I was feelin’ in the mood. Now to be fair, I am nearly always in the mood, but after some good high alcohol wine I was seriously in the mood to get down and dirty.

I got to my second favorite part of sex: the knob-slobbin’. It was great, he was moaning and thrusting into me growing larger by the second. I was getting all hot and wet and rearin’ to go when he blew his first load.

Now let me stop here for a moment to tell you I AM NOT A SWALLOWER. Say what you will about us non-chuggers but I just can’t do it. I have no problem giving head, in fact I love it. But I hate semen. It tastes gross but I have no problem getting rid of it after the BJ is over.

Now where was I? Right, his first load. Unfortunately it tasted like asparagus. I love asparagus, but as semen it’s just plain gross. In general, as delicious as something is as one thing, it generally doesn’t taste good as another. Par example; I like tuna salad, it’s yummy. But as a condom flavor…not so much.

fresh fruit juice_better tasting semen

After talking to a few of my friends we came up with a list of 10 things semen should never taste like.

1. Asparagus

2. Brussels Sprouts

3. Cabbage

4. Bleach

5. Piss

6. Wheat Grass

7. Black licorice

8. Bacon (this one caused a bit of controversy)

9. Stale beer (I’d say any beer, but I was outvoted…)

10. Boiled Eggs


If you’ve had to stomach any of these smells it’s time to take a proactive step in your man’s diet. Add fresh pineapple juice or any juice really, increase his water intake and save foods like asparagus and Brussels sprouts for when you’re on your period or simply not in the mood! 

Posted in Sex

One thought on “Ten Things

  1. Pingback: Myself Tastes Quite Good « Better Where It's Wetter

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