Earlier this year I started frequenting the bars in Boise, Idaho. I hadn’t been living there too long so when I started making friends and going out that’s really all that mattered. I wasn’t sitting at home drinking wine crying to Gilmore Girls anymore. Then again, I love drinking wine and crying to Gilmore Girls. I was pretty sad when I watched the last episode on the last Netflix DVD, as one does when something great comes to an end. And it’s cheaper than going out to a bar where they will probably not be playing Gilmore Girls. Just sayin’.
I have no ideas of grandeur that when I go out I’m a boy magnet. Nor do I really want to be. I love a drunken hookup as much as the next girl but I’m getting old. I want my random hookups to have a level of respect and intellectual understanding. Communication and negotiation.
I worked at a sex shop, what do you expect?
Well in Boise, ID that’s asking for a lot. No offense to the bar scene in the city I grew up in, but you ain’t all that. No wonder people get married right out of college and have babies. When you meet someone even remotely worth your time in a small town, you hold on for dear life.
And at the ripe age of 29, when most people in Boise have already been married, had three kids and gotten divorced, I was apparently the new cougar in town. Ok, more like the new, old person on the scene.
So whatever. I wasn’t out on the prowl. Just having a good time with a good friend of mine…At a strip club. Where, by the way, the girls don’t get naked. Just bikinis. I’m not sure anyone can technically call that a strip club. But I suppose that’s for another blog.
Out on the town I met a young boy of legal drinking age who reverse scammed me on a game of pool to get in my pants. I had no idea I was so good at pool! Come to find out I wasn’t. But it doesn’t really matter because I probably would have brought the boy home either way because I hate pool and don’t really care if I win or lose. But I do love to have sex.
So when the night out was ending and we looked at each other and were like, “Ready to go home?” We both were like, yeah, and he followed me home in his car. I will say, having not had sex in a long while, that it was fantastic. I was over the moon. It was loud. It was long. It was orgasmic.
And as soberness crept upon me in the morning, I realized it was also incredibly embarrassing. Not only did I have two roommates, but also one of them was my little sister. I’d never brought anyone home before and I was pretty sure we were loud. I was wondering how I’d explain this to her. I mean, she’s an adult but I’m pretty sure I scarred her for life by having mind-blowing sex in the room next to her with relatively thin walls. My first thoughts were that of begging for forgiveness. “I’m so, so sorry! I was tipsy! I had no idea we were being so loud!” Then I thought, fuck that. I haven’t had sex in forever. I’m not apologizing for that shit. I deserve a good fucking! Which I did, by the way.
So when I ran into my sister the following day I chickened out and began sheepishly with an I’m sorry but my sister said it all. She cut me off and said, ”Well it was really, really annoying at the time and lasted for an hour. I clocked it. An HOUR. But it’s funny in retrospect and I’m happy for you.” Probably because she knew how little I was getting.
And that’s why I love my sister.